The more we change, the more we remain the same!

A minor recent incident took me by surprise[it shouldn’t
have] & made me think about how our mind-set & mentality has still not
evolved  or changed with the changing
times as regards some issues…however trivial that may appear or be.

Dressed in shorts & a polo t-shirt, I happened to bump
into a close school friend outside his wine shop in Juhu area. He looked at me
& exclaimed that “I was more aptly dressed for Juhu beach” or words to that
effect {tu toh aisa lagta hai jaisa juhu beach se aaya hai}. I was taken aback
but I wonder why? I should have expected someone like him to react like this,
the way he did! The boring old fart conservative types who stick to the guys at
boring parties & talk business over Whiskey!! Even though he is a
stereotype, a “typical”, am I not slotting him or type casting him?! I can
never be one of them…a boring clone standing in some corner nursing my drink. I
would rather flirt with the women present & make them laugh….boost their
ego & morale…most of them need to feel good about them selves anyways! It
is expected & acceptable for expats & other NRIs to dress up thus but
not acceptable if one of our own does the same. I wonder why? Can’t be an age
issue. Why do we find it hard to accept such “dress” issues{non-issues,
actually} rather than ridicule others?! We tend to ridicule that which we
ourselves cannot accept!

I find it a very Indian thing to make others look bad esp.
in public or parties in order to make themselves look good or superior…throw
the “victim” off-guard by exclaiming in a friendly concerned manner “what
happened to you? Why are you looking like this/that?”! The victim gets more
self-conscious when the other guests too start staring at the victim drawn by
that remark/query. A game well-played & often played, mostly by women
towards other hapless women!

Takes me back some 20 years back when I was at a family
function, still in my 20s dressed rather trendily in a jacket with the sleeves
pulled back and a cow-boy bolo tie hanging in my neck over a bright shirt. I
looked & felt good but…. I was made the “victim” by a group of typical
conservative, orthodox Marwari men who were part of my father’s clique &
his dear friends. They could not digest what I was wearing & made me feel
like shit as if I had made a major “faux pas” or committed a grave crime.
Lectures after lectures followed on why I should never dress up the way I
had/did. I have always been known for my good & fashionable dress sense
& always been asked for advice. Their sons would probably show up at a
disco wearing a kurta-pyjama {one of them actually did so} which according to
them was very acceptable attire. I was laughing to myself at their pettiness
& small-mindedness as I did the day my friend ridiculed me for wearing
shorts recently. Can’t blame him, for in his mind-set “shorts” are to be worn
either for walks or to the gym or to the beach or on a holiday to Goa!!
Maybe he just needs to expand his horizons & open his mind. I know my dad’s
friends at their age will & can’t do that {as they couldn’t some 20 years
back while still in their late 40s} but a 45 year old man today can surely
progress with the times mentally! Two different incidents, two different generations
yet the reaction remains almost the same!