If you purchased $1,000 of Delta Airlines stock 1 year ago, you would

have $49 today.

 

If you purchased $1,000 of AIG stock 1 year ago, you would have $33 today.

 

If you purchased $1,000 of Lehman Brothers stock 1 year ago, you would

have $0.0 today.

 

But, if you purchased $1,000 worth of beer 1 year ago, drank all the

beer, returned the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you would

have $214.



Just think on it my friend. It better to drink beer rather than
investing money in mkt.

 

Lets start drinking

I am a living example of the oft used cliché “Appearance can
be deceptive”.

Having sported my salt & pepper {grey} hair look since
several years now {a case of premature graying, I presume}, I am used to people
my age or even elder than me, mostly strangers & casual acquaintances
calling me “Uncle”. It’s a very Indian trait to refer to total strangers older
to you as “Uncles & Aunties”. I have resisted the urge or temptation to dye
my hair black as I have always been comfortable with the ageing process.
Besides I have never been vain about the way I look. Now, I see no point in
dyeing my hair after having resisted it so long.

The first time I was called an “Uncle” was at age 24, by my
brother-in-law’s 13-14 yr old sister. It had totally freaked me out then, as
any 20 something would be, on being referred to as an “Uncle” at that age esp.
by a member of the opposite sex! Now, I just grin and bear it whenever anyone
calls me “uncle” which is quite often.

People assume me to be 5 or 10 years older than my now 45
years {middle age?} because of the color of my hair & probably judge me
& relate to me thus. An incident that took place in 1999 while boarding a
domestic flight in the U.S.A always makes for a hilarious anecdote over coffee
or drinks, at sit-down dinners & soirees. I was accompanied by my wife,
daughter & my wife’s nephew. While boarding the flight, a frumpy, old
air-hostess {It’s Not only Air-India or Indian Airlines that boasts of such old
[and over-weight] air-hostesses} smiled warmly at me & enquired while
pointing to the accompanying trio/threesome “Are they your children?”!! My
wife’s day, trip & life was made that very instant!! I, totally taken aback
replied “Yeah, this is my wife & these two are my children”! The icing on
the cake was when my wife asked an air-hostess for liqueur & she refused to
serve it to her citing “age” issues...thinking her to be under-age! My wife has
never felt this good or so young ever again…& she isn’t even my “trophy”
wife! She & I still laugh back at the memory & make sure everyone else
has a good laugh too…at my expense!!

 I’ve had the last
laugh though as recently a good looking young hunk called her “Aunty”
repeatedly & a Hijra {third gender} kept addressing her as “Mummy”! The
look on her face was simply priceless!! Ouch, Reality Bites!!

I guess, between the two of us, we tend to balance this “ageing
thing” together!!

The more we change, the more we remain the same!

A minor recent incident took me by surprise[it shouldn’t
have] & made me think about how our mind-set & mentality has still not
evolved  or changed with the changing
times as regards some issues…however trivial that may appear or be.

Dressed in shorts & a polo t-shirt, I happened to bump
into a close school friend outside his wine shop in Juhu area. He looked at me
& exclaimed that “I was more aptly dressed for Juhu beach” or words to that
effect {tu toh aisa lagta hai jaisa juhu beach se aaya hai}. I was taken aback
but I wonder why? I should have expected someone like him to react like this,
the way he did! The boring old fart conservative types who stick to the guys at
boring parties & talk business over Whiskey!! Even though he is a
stereotype, a “typical”, am I not slotting him or type casting him?! I can
never be one of them…a boring clone standing in some corner nursing my drink. I
would rather flirt with the women present & make them laugh….boost their
ego & morale…most of them need to feel good about them selves anyways! It
is expected & acceptable for expats & other NRIs to dress up thus but
not acceptable if one of our own does the same. I wonder why? Can’t be an age
issue. Why do we find it hard to accept such “dress” issues{non-issues,
actually} rather than ridicule others?! We tend to ridicule that which we
ourselves cannot accept!

I find it a very Indian thing to make others look bad esp.
in public or parties in order to make themselves look good or superior…throw
the “victim” off-guard by exclaiming in a friendly concerned manner “what
happened to you? Why are you looking like this/that?”! The victim gets more
self-conscious when the other guests too start staring at the victim drawn by
that remark/query. A game well-played & often played, mostly by women
towards other hapless women!

Takes me back some 20 years back when I was at a family
function, still in my 20s dressed rather trendily in a jacket with the sleeves
pulled back and a cow-boy bolo tie hanging in my neck over a bright shirt. I
looked & felt good but…. I was made the “victim” by a group of typical
conservative, orthodox Marwari men who were part of my father’s clique &
his dear friends. They could not digest what I was wearing & made me feel
like shit as if I had made a major “faux pas” or committed a grave crime.
Lectures after lectures followed on why I should never dress up the way I
had/did. I have always been known for my good & fashionable dress sense
& always been asked for advice. Their sons would probably show up at a
disco wearing a kurta-pyjama {one of them actually did so} which according to
them was very acceptable attire. I was laughing to myself at their pettiness
& small-mindedness as I did the day my friend ridiculed me for wearing
shorts recently. Can’t blame him, for in his mind-set “shorts” are to be worn
either for walks or to the gym or to the beach or on a holiday to Goa!!
Maybe he just needs to expand his horizons & open his mind. I know my dad’s
friends at their age will & can’t do that {as they couldn’t some 20 years
back while still in their late 40s} but a 45 year old man today can surely
progress with the times mentally! Two different incidents, two different generations
yet the reaction remains almost the same!

As we grow in age we realize the importance of Comfort Food in our
lives....food that comforts us during our ups & downs or joys &
depressions. It could be Pizzas, Potatoes, Soup, Ice Cream, Potato Chips,
French Fries, Khichidi{Rice & Lentil}, a bar of Chocolate, a mug of Hot
Chocolate or gooey rich Chocolate Cake. Any food item that we relish, that
helps to calm our nerves & makes us “feel good”. I find myself craving for
potatoes...mainly creamy mashed potatoes or a potato salad. I find it very comforting
along with a glass of chilled White Wine{sometimes} to get over the blues.
Pizzas are an all time favorite with many of us. Many Indians find solace in
one too many pegs of Whiskey. Talk about "drowning your sorrows" or
celebrating your "Highs"!

What’s your comfort food?? Chicken Soup for the soul, anyone?!

The Devil Left His Bags You put the devil out, but you let him leave his bags. Never quite looked at it like this before... You got out of a bad relationship because it was bad, but you are still resentful and angry. You let the devil leave his bags. You got out of financial debt, but you still can't control the desire to spend on frivolous things. You let the devil leave his bags. You got out of a bad habit or addiction, but you still long to try it just one more time. You let the devil leave his bags. You said, I forgive you, but you can't seem to forget and have peace with that person. You let the devil leave his bags. You told your unequally yoked mate that it was over, but you still continue to call. You let the devil leave his bags. You got out of that horribly oppressive job, but you're still trying to sabotage the company after you've left. You let the devil leave his bags. You cut off the affair with that married man/woman, but you still lust after him/her. You let the devil leave his bags. You broke off your relationship with that hurtful and abusive person, but you are suspicious and distrusting of every new person you meet. You let the devil leave his bags. You decided to let go of the past hurts from growing up in an unstable family environment; yet you believe you are unworthy of love from others, and you refuse to get attached to anyone. You let the devil leave his bags. When you put the devil out, please make sure he takes his bags. Author Unknown

 New Exam pattern in India
(Revised):

'People will forget what you said,

People will forget what you did. 

But people will never forget how you
made them feel'.

INDO-PAK
War......
 

Pak army decides to launch a Nuke-missile
towards India... They don't need any permission from their government, and
promptly launch the missile.



Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8
seconds, the Indian army detects it and decides to launch a missile in
retaliation. But they

need permission from the Government of India. They submit
their request to the Indian President.



The President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime
Minister calls an emergency

Lok Sabha session after three days. When the LS meets,
there are several walk-outs and

severe protests by the opposition, so it is adjourned
indefintely.



However, the President asks for a quick decision.



The Pak missile, meanwhile, failed to take off due to
unknown reasons.

Their attempts for a launch are still on.



Meanwhile, the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority
because an

outside party withdraws support. The President asks the PM
to prove majority

next week.



The ruling party is unable to get a confidence vote, and a
caretaker government

is installed. The acting PM decides to permit the armed
forces to launch the

Nuclear Missile. But the Election Commission says that a
caretaker Government

cannot take such a decision because elections are at the
door and this decision

will affect the swing of votes in the election. A public
interest litigation

(PIL) is filed in the supreme court of India, alleging
misuse of power by the

Election commission.



Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says acting
PM is authorized

to take this decision.



In between all this, one of the Pak missiles successfully
takes off,

and falls 367 miles away from the target. The Missile falls
on a government

building at 1100 AM.



But since no employees have reached work, there are no
casualties.



The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies
from China.



US condemns use of a nuclear missile by Pakistan, and
offers to send its

seventh fleet to the Indian Ocean. The Indian government,
wary of the move,

declines.



Finally, the Indian government decides to launch a nuclear
missile, after

convening an all party meeting. It's been three months
since the army

first sought permission. Pro-humanity, anti-nuclear
activists come on board

against the government's decision.



Human chains are being made in New York, LA and Washington
for peace.

Indians are sending protest email requesting that it be
"forwarded to as many Indians as possible".



On the Pakistan side, missiles keep failing. At times they
fail to take-off,

at other times the payload gets detached from the missile
during flight.



Some missiles deviate from target due to high-speed winds
blowing over Rajasthan,

and have to be neutralized by Pakistan, as these missiles
are now moving backwards

towards Karachi.



Finally, a missile smuggled from USA is used. The Pakistan
army is

unable to understand its software, so it hits its original
destination Russia.



Russians successfully intercept the missile and in
retaliation, launch a Nuclear

missile towards Islamabad.



The missile hit the target and creates havoc. Pakistan
cries for help.

It asks for loans from IMF and the world bank.



India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and
sends in a million dollars worth of soap.



The War ends.